<h1 style="text-align: center;">Understanding The Real Reason Behind Dating Success</h1>
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<p>Game exists really for one simple reason, and it’s not exactly why you think it does. It’s not to get laid. That may be the reason <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Netherlands-dating-service.html?gender=male">single men come to dating game</a>, in order to “learn” how to get laid, and in the ironic twist of life, by trying to learn game, we can feed the monster that is causing men to not get laid. You start off learning tricks and lines and acronyms and you fit into a community and have your own band of brothers, either fellow men whom you go out to pick up with, or your online posse – then you eventually move to the actual rejection of game, and don’t need it any more.</p>
<h2>Why Men Fall Into The Trap Of Strategy</h2>
<p>Now calm down people, I don’t mean rejection in that it doesn’t work, I mean that when you actually learn your final lesson of the dating game, which is to be the aloof male, with the balance of emotions and not giving a fuck, then you realize all the other things in game are not necessary for you anymore, and reading blogs on how to understand women or how to get laid isn’t necessary, and thus you move on, in essence rejecting game as the bulk of things you used to build yourself to a man capable of getting laid. Of course many men never reach this point, and I think this is the problem. For advice on improving dating self-awareness, see <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2025/09/18/6-money-talks-couples-need-before-moving-in/" rel="dofollow">6 money talks couples need before moving in</a>.</p>
<p>The reason men have trouble getting laid lies in our basic nature, a nature that allows us to succeed in every other area of our lives. We get a strategy in our heads (right or wrong), we get a target or goal (said girl or girls), and we activate strategy in order to get goal, making adjustments to our strategy or not making strategies to try and obtain our goal. Our whole thinking is in a straight line, and when things don’t happen according to the plan, we get sometimes obsessed on how to crack the system that will obtain this goal, or we get pissed off and swear off of it for good.</p>
<h2>Why Straight-Line Thinking Fails With Women</h2>
<p>If you’ve ever experienced dealing with women, you will know that none of them think and act in the same manner, no matter how much they’d protest to this. <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Netherlands-dating-service.html?gender=female">Single women</a>, due to their overabundance of male suitors and known sure things as options they can have sex with at their whim, on top of their non-linear behaviour, lead men who go after them with a strategy with the sole goal of obtaining the magic pussy, to be so focused on them that girls who rely on how they feel and their great ability to pick up on subtle body language and social cues, naturally feel a repulsion to said strategy. The dating game exists for this problem. Its whole make-up is to wake you up to the fact that there really is no “strategy” to have sex with women.</p>
<p>Women will have sex with men that they find attractive and don’t screw it up. Men usually screw it up by declaring their attention that they want to get girls with too much obvious declarations, either saying it outright, plying her with loving rom-com like platitudes and planning of <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Netherlands-dating-service.html?gender=female&page=9">romantic and fun outings</a>; or implying it subtly with everything you do sprinkled with the perspiration of your desperate desire to get her. For more insight into authentic dating communication, see <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/08/23/communication-tips-for-couples-who-dont-share-a-native-language/" rel="dofollow">communication tips for couples who don't share a native language</a>.</p>
<h2>Letting Go Of The Goal Mindset</h2>
<p>Because we as men are straight line thinking and goal focused, when we have a goal in mind, we have trouble picking up the subtleties of the path to achieve goals – and unlike with every other path, there is little to no leeway to make mistakes. This of course adds to our drive or obsession to get the girl, and becomes often oneitis.</p>
<p>There is also a slight misconception of thinking that a girl wants to enter your world, and for you to take her on a journey, which is true, but only half of that concept, the other concept is that she wants you to enter her world and take control of that as well. See many critics of game accuse us of pussy begging or falling into a girl’s frame in order to get laid, but they miss that last part. It is true, if you aren’t able to get into her world, her ways of non-linear, emotional, and abstract world, you will never be able to get into her pants, and most importantly, if you don’t take control of that world for her, she won’t be completely in love with you, like the adoring females who love their alpha males.</p>
<h2>Becoming The Balanced, Aloof Man</h2>
<p>All of which, whether on purpose or not, share these abilities and traits. Single girls want to be saved from themselves, and it’s one of the reasons they still adore masculine men. Removing the goal-oriented strategy to get laid is the only thing you need to do in order to get laid. You’re a man, so your entire being is working to get you laid. Let your instincts take over when they need to and stop thinking about how to win her, how to get her, how to change her mind, how to get her back, how to make her fall in love with you, etc.</p>
<p>It is not about one individual girl, it is not about getting laid the most, it is all about being confident, in control, aloof, and emotionally balanced, with a sense of trust in a girl that is earned, as is commitment. For more perspective on healthy masculine balance, read <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2025/05/19/how-to-plan-a-caribbean-island-hopping-adventure/" rel="dofollow">how to plan a caribbean island-hopping adventure</a>.</p>
<p>Once you become this you won’t waste your time with girls who don’t want you. Girls will sleep with you or let you know when they’re attracted to you; you don’t really need to do much when they are, and thus, you realize, there is no game.</p>
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